black&white.

the tears stayed back for as long as i could keep them.
i hate talking.
i hate talking, because it makes my insides shake.
no one's ever pleaded with me to speak, like you did.
it always ended in frustration,
meaningless words escaping my tongue with a hiss.
i hate talking.
i hate talking, it's so difficult to look you in your bright eyes,
and tell you what i'm thinking at that exact moment.
i didn't start crying until you wanted me to start talking.
hearing my own thoughts come from within me, hearing them floating
in midair; i can't even describe the feeling.
it's like glass shattering, something fragile and delicate,
destruction.
and you stepped out of the car.
and the torrent came rushing out.
a flood cascading down into my lap.
chest heaving. vocal chords tightening.
heart racing. i couldn't hear anything.
except for the quick short gasps clawing at my throat.

oh, how i hate and love emotion.

you break me each time.
but you're there to catch me.

when it's you & i, i see nothing else.
our faces but 3 inches from each other,
your breath tickling my neck.
side by side, the waves came crashing.
'if we go any closer, we'll be in the water.'
and the words, and words, and words.
i'd never seen you so vulnerable.
everything laid out before me.
and you gave me your words.
sweet, precious, honest-to-god words.
we were meant to have each day we have ever shared together.